Detecting Reproduction Cloth

There's one thing about this crazy hobby we're in - there's always something new. The other day I happen to come across a group of cloth items which were available for sale or trade and like all true collectors I couldn't resist taking a look. They were mostly very common items, a few Luftwaffe specialist patches, some low ranking collar tabs etc... nothing to get excited about. I was however immediately struck by the fact that they all appeared to be in perfectly mint condition, with the original glossiness of the thread still quite bright. Seeing so many pieces in such nice shape and also noticing that they all seemed to be from the same manufacturer, I immediately became suspicious.

Closer inspection revealed several flaws in the designs. In many cases the maker had taken some shortcuts in the sewing of the designs and had allowed the excess threads, which should have been on the back of the patch, to simply run accross the face of the patch. Thus when the sewing machine reached the end of a propeller blade, instead of disappearing under the surface and the resurfacing at the proper place to start on the next blade, it simply ran back accross the top of the first blade to the hub and then started from there on the next blade. Our friends back in the old country would never have been so untidy.

There were also the usual slight variations in design from which any fake will invariably suffer, and of course there was that indefinable, abstract quality about any fake which a collector with a few years experience learns to "feel". Up to this point I didn't notice anything unusual, just another group of trash to add to the tons already in circulation. Then I noticed something that was not expected. All of a sudden I had the impression that I was sitting behind the wheel of a brand new car - right in the dealer's showroom: It was the smell.

This little cash of supposedly thirty year old cloth smelled just like the inside of a new Ford. I took a closer sniff, yep: that was vinyl upholstery without a doubt. I don't know anything about chemistry, but I do know that the Germans didn't make insignia out of vinyl. What had happened is that somebody out there in the happy world of swindlers used a modern fabric to make antique insignia. The color, texture, thickness and grain were considered, but he forgot to take into account the odor.
Use your nose!

Bob Treend, "Original Nazi Relics Anyone", Der Gauleiter, 1977